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WEREWOLVES ATTACK COLLEGE IN CALIFORNIA FOOTHILLS!
Crafton
Hills College, a beautiful little-known tree dotted campus in Yucaipa
on the edge of the San Bernardino
mountains off Interstate 10 recently had sightings of werewolves on
the campus and
a missing student was reportedly killed in the hills nearby, although
not enough of the body was left for positive identification. The mauling
was reported by another student, claiming to be a friend of the missing
boy, as an attack by werewolves. Police are investigating the incident
with agencies of the National Forest Service.
This was following the arrival in the small California community of a rock & roll band reputedly from somewhere in Eastern Europe with the curious name of "Neowolf" on their west coast "Full Moon Tour". Local authorities could not - or would not say whether they could make any connection between the band's darkly gothic werewolf themed image and the missing student.
"We're a good old all-American God-fearing community here and don't get much call to investigate reports of werewolves," said one local police official who requested not to be identified. "Coyotes and mountain lions will attack a hiker from time to time, sure, but we just don't welcome the spawn of evil in our city."
Despite refusal by officials
to acknowledge an infestation of a satanic shape-shifter man-eating
animal pack, sales of plants of the genus Aconitum
Napellus (otherwise known as Wolfsbane) have skyrocketed at local nurseries
and Walmart Stores in the vicinity have been receiving inquiries whether
they carry silver bullets in 9mm or 38 caliber. Walmart executives would
not comment further. A neither will we.
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